And not a drop to drink...

At least of water, soon. Calculate your water footprint, then wash away your sorrows about the future of the planet with all the free libations this week. But walk, don't fly, to those open bars. (Planes are seen as huge climate change/carbon culprits, but don't forget the big emitters: CARS and AGRICULTURE.) And start saving up your pennies for food. That's all from this week's soapbox. Look for updates throughout the week, and enjoy the city.

Wednesday, March 26:
  • Project Open Hand midday shift
  • SFBC Volunteer Night 5pm til all the envelopes and people are stuffed
  • Music options: Free jazz at Amnesia or The Submarines at Cafe du Nord $12. I'll be in my hibernaculum watching Top Chef
Thursday, March 27:
  • Food Not Bombs 5pm cook, 6.30pm serve at 16th St BART. Best part is, you don't have to ride BART
  • Another SFBC volunteer night with good people, projects, and food
  • Race to Execution doc about capital punishment 6pm free. Another uplifting event. You're welcome
  • Richard Price, who wrote the new hit book Lush Life and wrote for The Wire, speaks at the Commonwealth Club as part of my new thing INFORUM. Sorry, not free, but kind of my job now, so....5.30pm for sips and nibbles!
Friday, March 28:
  • Closing reception party at Secession Art & Design 5-9.30pm. These shindigs go off with DJ, drink, food, fashion
  • A talky-talk about Global Justice at City Lights 8pm with snacky-snacks

Saturday, March 29th:

  • Save Rent Control needs help delivering info about the project 11 AM at Centro del Pueblo, 474 Valencia/16th. Bagels and coffee provided to fuel your work against Proposition 99
  • Mission Neighborhood Open House Brunch of Fashion 1-5pm. This is so VIP that you must email me and then I must email someone to get the details. Fancy
  • CarrotMob is a concept becoming reality 1pm at K&D Market 16th/Guerrero. Get your groceries, check out the idea, and join in the afterparty in Dolores Park
  • The Really Really Free Market returns to Dolores part 1-5pm. Take some stuff then take some stuff
  • Marabelle Phoenix plays at The Knockout 5pm free. There are saws and spoons involved, so be careful
  • When the lights...go the city....No, really, it's some energy saving "Earth Hour" and Gavin's shutting down some big monuments to save some juice 8-9pm. Hope your mom sent you an LED hand-crank flashlight/compass/radio/cell charger like mine did
Sunday, March 30:
  • POH
  • AIDS/LifeCycle training event 11-4pm in County Fair Bldg GG Park. I'm doing SFBC outreach. Come by and say hi as you give me baked goods you bought for me at Arizmendi
  • Alemany Farm workday 12-5pm. Cheaper and more rewarding than shopping at Trader Joe's
  • Mission IndieMart 12-5pm 12 Galaxies Mission/22nd. Cute people and designs
  • Daniel Ellsberg, best known for releasing the top secret Pentagon Papers in 1971 to try to end the Vietnam war, speaks on the theme "Must America Remain an Outlaw State?" at the First Unitarian Universalist Church 1187 Franklin St/Geary Besides Iraq 12.45 (optional $4 lunch follows)
  • Big party at the JCCSF for Young Adult conference 4-9.30pm. RSVP, drink for free, and hit on some gentiles or believers
  • Station 40 is throwing a bash: food, drink, Jeremy is playing, plus a pal from STL 7-11pm donations accepted
  • Some crazy Russian band Auktyon is playing Rickshaw. Check it
Monday, March 31:
  • Ora Cogan plays at Hemlock 6pm $5. Decent chill music
  • Cinewhore presents Breathless 7.30pm ATA (Valencia/21st) $5-20 donation includes discussion, snacks, wine, film, and sometimes prizes!
  • NAFTA schmafta. Come hear from this continent's top thinkers about this bogus deal 7.30-9pm
Tuesday, April 1:
  • You are taking me to lunch
  • First Tuesdays. Go enjoy the free museums
  • Should Aid to Israel be Tied to the Peace Process? inquires SF Debate at the Commonwealth Club 7pm free-$5

War: What Isn't It Good For?

Absolutely everything. Wednesday marks the F'ing FIFTH ANNIVERSARY of this debacle. Whywhywhywhy: oilpowerliesgreed. Cruel irony that we need oil to fuel our warcrafts to secure our oil to fuel our warcrafts...Okay, that is all the antiestablisment rage I will type for now. Quick, think of happy things, like Jessy's blog and Project Open Hand and SF Bike Coalition and...and, puppies! Yeah, puppies and other cute things that will make you not get too depressed. This week's SXSW overflow should keep you distracted.

Tuesday, March 18th:

  • Prison Town USA plays at Intersection of the Arts 446 Valencia 7.30pm free. Why isn't this war-mongering administration locked up instead of disenfranchised neglected petty criminals? Art show stays up for awhile and seems rad
  • SFDebate discusses how Bush may be the opposite of Robin Hood, except that thief part 7pm $5 for non-Inforum members
  • Sonia Cotton picks at Hemlock 9.30pm $6

Wednesday, March 19th:

  • Pro-peace march all around town. Big rally at 5pm from Civic Center and other actions during the day. Direct Action to Stop the War and IndyBay have many ideas and details. I won't be doing anything too zany, though jail would continue my streak of rent-free living
  • Free Gaucho jazz at Amnesia 8pm

Thursday, March 20th:

  • Food Not Bombs at 16th St BART 5pm, then discussion with the founder 7pm Station 40 -just follow the hipster hippies
  • White Shoes, eclectic pop Indonesian group, plays free at Amoeba 6pm
  • INFORUM (my new gig) is holding an art and discussion panel "Art and Peace" 6.30pm. Not free, but wine reception and mind expansion are included
  • Cool looking skate art show "Fairfax and Haight" receives tonight 7pm VASF Gallery 1485 Haight/Ashbury
  • Jessy recommends the bands at Amnesia tonight 9pm ("TBA cover" on their website)

Friday, March 21st:

  • Roccapulco salsa dance party. A very cleverly named club 8.30pm salsa lessons $10 before 10pm and $15 after for all you slow pokes
  • Headlights and Evangelicals show at Hemlock 9.30pm $10 should be good

Saturday, March 22nd:

  • Anarchist Book Fair 10-6pm at County Fair Bldg in GG Park. You can bring the zine you just made about Wednesday's actions
  • Alemany Farm workday 12-5pm. Photosynthesize this!
  • Extra Action Marching Band plays at 12 Galaxies 9pm $10/12. I'll type it: They kick brass
  • See these super hyped bands tonight, some with encore performances on Sunday: Jens Lekman, Say Hi, Nada Surf w/Sea Wolf, Vampire Weekend. They aren't all at the same venue, so you'll have to scour Pitchfork and other snarky music snob blogs to help you decide which bands live up to their respective hype

Sunday, March 23rd:
  • Come celebrate JC's reincarnated rebirthday with cross dressers in Dolores, parades, and big wheel races (not on Lombard this year)
  • Anarchist Book Fair 11-5pm. You can and should wear the same thing you put on and slept in yesterday
  • Another super-hyped concert: Phosphorescent and Bon Iver 8pm The Independent $12
Monday, March 24th:
  • Only 2 days until my half birthday. Have you thought about your gift yet?
Tuesday, March 25th:
  • If you aren't too cool for school, check out high school kids reading their works at Books, Inc. 7pm
  • Kaki King, super hot and super good indie guitar chick, plays at Great American Music Hall 8pm $16
  • CelloJoe strokes at Bissap Baobab 9pm. Delish food, delish music

L'Austin in SouthBySouthWaste

Here in Tejas for SXSW. I'm like a kid in a candy store who's gonna have major stomach and dental problems later. Music, food, libations, people watching....sweet. I'll keep the confections listings confined to MyOpenBar and the "SouthBy" (this will never be uttered by my lips) websites. My schedule will be offered up to the kharma and serendipity gods, who will hopefully influence all the party gatekeepers to show goodwill to this badgeless little fan of free. Highlighted below are some savory San Francisco events, plus probably some righteous do-gooder articles. Keep posted for updates and better formatting with links. SXSW website has a sustainability section on it. I don't know if the speakers will be bicycle powered, but so far the afterparties earn the post's title and an F minus from me. Monday, March 10th:
  • Good ol' Monday standby's of free bluegrass at Amnesia and free trivia at Noe Valley Tavern
Tuesday, March 11th:
  • I'm lazy. Go play Scrabble and drink at Bean Bag
Wednesday, March 12th:
  • You know, Wednesday things
Thursday, March 13th:
  • Pal's band Microfiche plays at Bottom of the Hill 9pm $8. #22 Bus has a great route to get you there, but not a great schedule track record
Friday, March 14th:
  • 50% off clothes at ThrifTown Mission/17th. Think of it as half free if you can't wait for the Really Really Free Market in a few weeks
  • New show up at PingPong Gallery 6-9pm 1240 22nd Street (between Pennsylvania and Mississippi). Yea for art at places with cute names that utilize both alliteration and consonance
Saturday, March 15th:
  • Sleep in
Sunday, March 16th:
  • Alemany Farm workday 12-5pm

What's a Pirate's Favorite Holiday?

TheWeekIntro has overcome its NoisePop Crush from last week and is developing a new crush on SXSW. Until that love is realized, San Francisco is #1 in my heart. Below are events offered by this great city this week. Keep posted for updates. The weather is getting better, so rid your closet of your broken umbrella and get organized simultaneously. Clean up, as these companies should. And carefully wash your sweaters before putting them away for our summer in September. Speaking of putting things away...yea for having more prisoners than China and Russia. Monday, March 3rd:
  • M'lady Jessy hearts Langhorne Slim $12 The Independent 7.30pm doors. I can't vouch for the sound, as the computer I'm utilizing is from 1998 and has no speakers, but check out the enthusiasm for this and other events on Jessy's blog
  • Free bluegrass at Amnesia 8pm. Yeehaw
  • Whenever in doubt and depression, go to Bean Bag Cafe, Little Chihuahua, or Zante's for some cheap cerveza and good grub
Tuesday, March 4th:
  • Project Open Hand
  • SFBC
  • Hit up the free museums, go see Gilbert and George at the de Young and then me at Arizmendi
  • Update on the Iraq War and Prep for 5th Anniversary Protest 7pm with ANSWER
  • Sonya Cotton be playing at Red Devil Lounge 8pm $6. I saw her play on a farm, so a performance with walls will be a new experience
Wednesday, March 5th:
  • I'll Explore your Torium. Free every first Wednesday
  • Green Drinks at Varnish 5.30-7.30pm. Schmooze with the other tree-kissers
  • King Corn showing at SF's Main Library 6pm free. Awesome documentary tracking corn from kernal to syrup. Ironically or appropriately, no popcorn is allowed in this theatre
  • Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks play at Amoeba in the Haight 7pm fo' free. How to decide between free fun social commentary film and free fun hipster music?
  • Birds and Batteries play at the Knockout 10pm $5. These are good peeps, receiving deserved buzz
Thursday, March 6th:
  • First Thursdays at all the art galleries downtown. Bring your own wine cup and be prepared to snack. Refer to the Fecal Face link at the right
  • "Point of Paradox" art opening at Hang Art Annex 567 Sutter/Mason 6pm also brings you Conspiracy of Beards, the male complement to Jessy's choir
  • Funny phallic art show opening at 111 Minna 6pm-2am
  • Cocalero plays at ATA 7.30pm $6. Relearn why the War on Drugs is bullocks, and how Bolivia bounced back
  • Go see TheOhsees with The Dodos at 12 Galaxies 9pm. These kids are blowing up
Friday, March 7th:
  • Berkeley Energy Symposium all day. Bagels + sustainable energy discussion of a post-petroleum world + booze = my internship
  • Art Murmur in Oakland. Ugh, BART day
  • New show up in the Curiosity Shoppe. Lots of lovable firearms and refreshments 6-9pm 855 Valencia
  • "The Invisible Nation" opening Galeria de la Raza 2857 24th/Bryant 7.30pm. Immigration imagination
  • Botticellis play at The Independent 9pm $12. They are sharing the stage with lots of other folks
  • International Women's Day partay at Women's Bldg 18th/Valencia. Girl drummers are hot
Saturday, March 8th:
  • Alemany Farm 12-5pm. This should encourage you support local organic agriculture. F U Monsanto
  • What's a pirate's favorite holiday?
  • Non-Western Film Series plays a Western called El Topo at MOMA 3-4.30pm $5. The last film I saw here was Matthew Barney's crazy whale ship movie with his wife Bjork. I don't know if I'm recommending or warning against this event
  • Kafana Balkan is a crazy brass/circus concoction party show that raises funds for kids in Kosovo. Go. $12-25 at 9pm 12 Galaxies
  • Leslie and the Lys play the CockBlock Anniversary party at Rickshaw 9pm $10. This might be sensory overload
  • Conspiracy of Venus et al perform at Balazo 2183 Mission 8pm-medianoche. Warning: might be spoken word poetry, but still worth donating $7-20 to benefit International Women's Day and Direct Action to Stop the War
  • Fresyes. Dusty and Tim's art show in Fresno. Contact me if interested
  • Daylight Savings time. You didn't need an extra hour on your Wii anyway
Sunday, March 9th:
  • Leslie sports more of her Jem Sweaters for a free show at Amoeba Berkeley 2pm
  • The Flakes help The Knockout with their "Crazy Mixed Up Teenage Rock & Roll" extravaganza 4pm-???
  • You go to Trainwreck Riders at 12 Galaxies and I'll go to Austin for SXSW